Hi there 🙂 cold hands, warm heart here ✌💗
Since I am currently listening to little mix ‘FU’ I think this should be dedicated to my illnesses today haha! I am in no way a negative nelly but when you really want to do something or go somewhere and your body is shouting at you saying
It’s really hard not to think negative things about your body and how you are unable to do such simple things.
Atleast my brain and body were in cahoots at the beginning of the day (kind of) well if im honest it starts off by saying
“Yes Heather you can do this today, you got sleep and you can do what you need to do today”
then as the minutes go on throughout the day my bodies voice starts getting louder and louder at me to stop whatever it is that I am doing and rest and do nothing. Then by the time ive been up around an hour or two it is as if ive been up jogging and doing a full on body work out all morning. I used to study musical theatre so I know what that feels like 🙂 haha! I used to go to the gym nearly every night after college or university, and even after doing those things I still didn’t feel as absolutlely dreadful as I do right now.
baring in mind upto now today i have only –
had my breakfast, brushed the bottoms of my hair, washed my face and hands in a bowl and gotten dressed, oh and had afew chats with my mum and listened to some of the ‘glory days’ album :)) (a girls gotta have fun right) ;’) well thats my fun! )
Oh and actually if my positive brain was awake just then it should have kicked in and told me it’s not ‘only ‘ those things.. I shouldn’t be dismissing them as tiny achievements, yes to a “normal” (hate that word) hahaha 😂 person it would be, but to me it’s actually pretty huge!
*unwillingly gives self pat on the back* 😒
so where was i?
oh yeah, so after just doing those few things, i feel about 100000000 times worse than how i used to feel after a full days musical theatre and spending afew hours at the gym. It’s still extremely hard for me to accept I can’t do things I used to do without even thinking, if I’m honest I don’t think I have.
My plan today was originally going to be to go out with my mum in the car for a little drive around and get some fresh air. Although today I think my body won… 😨
Body – 1
Mind – 0
Ah well who wants to get freezing cold and snuffly outside anyways?? 😂 I’d much rather stay wrapped up in my hat and scarf, keeping all cosy warm ⛄⛄🐢 so that’s when I decided to do my blog 😀
To anyone who actually reads this I just want you to know how even if lifting your head off the pillow, or having a drink of water are your ‘only’ achievements today…. They are huge to me and I understand how even those things can seem impossible about 90% of the time! Plus plus plus plus you read my blog…. Now that’s got to be a MASSIVE gold star 🌟🌟🌟 right?? 😛
I’m going to go now as my arms are starting to really hurt, chronic illness messed with the wrong rambling writer 😂😂💝 think that’s my new name!!!!
Bye for now
Rambling writer 😀
CH ✌ WH 💗